Ramblings

Feb. 1st, 2009 01:15 pm
happyfish: (snape in lingerie)
Rocky Horror was fun. For the first time, ever, I didn't go in costume, or bring any sort of props. My stomach's been bugging me again, although it's not bad right now, and I was feeling lazy and irritable right before I left, so I just shoved my knitting and binder in my backpack and went of to Trevor's. I don't think I can handle being in a corset anymore, at least, not one that emphasizes the fact that I have tits. I might try to figure out how to make a man-corset by March, one I can bind in. (Trevor was relieved that he didn't have to see me running around in my underwear all night. I admit, it would have been amusing just to see his reaction to my outfit, if I'd have been able to force myself into it). Also, I've lost my garters, which is rather annoying.

Lazed around for most of yesterday, watching Star Wars (Episode IV) at the Tranny Shack. Man, I haven't seen that movie in ages. Sara suggested that a group of us go as over-sized Jawas to the Comicon in April, which would be pretty wicked, and not that hard to do. Then I went home, ate actual food, and went out to buy groceries from T&T.

Got a message from Trevor today. He's back in the hospital. He was feeling pretty shitty yesterday, and said he might go to the Foothills to see if they could do anything. I'm a little less worried than last time, but I had no idea what was going on, what was wrong, or when he'd see a doctor. At least now I know he's in a bed, and should be on some pain meds. And if he isn't, I'm going to go kick some hospital staff ass, because they shouldn't fucking leave my boy in pain. *growl*

Show on Thursday. I'm excited and somewhat dreading it. It should be good, though.

It's been two years since I started questioning my gender. Two years. It seems longer, somehow. I'm a lot more comfortable in my skin than I was then, but it's taken pretty much all of those two years to get me there. I've finally come to the conclusion that I'm really, really not actually that fine not passing as male. I was afraid that, since my gender identity is pretty fluid, maybe I would regret transitioning because what if I looked male but started feeling less than male? Could I deal with that?

Apparently, the answer was yes. Everything that I am or was afraid of about transitioning doesn't seem as important now. I know most of it is just the little voice in the back of my head telling me that I'll never be masculine enough to pass as male. Since I already can pass as male a lot of the time, I know that's a lie.

I think it's kind of funny that I'm off to go dye my hair pink now.

Also, do I really have to be hungry all the time? Seriously, what's going to happen when I start T? I'm never going to stop eating.

happyfish: (Stabby Rip Stab Stab)
I spent this weekend doing pretty much nothing but watching lots and lots of Torchwood. Feel kind of useless, but not too much. (Actually, all I really want to do is watch more Torchwood, instead of doing homework or practical things. Maybe this is why I avoid TV).

They haven't paid my fucking tuition yet. I talked to the registrar, like, a week ago or more and she said it was all settled, but I got a stupid letter in the mail saying I've now got a $70 late fine on top of everything else. And no clue what's going on. At all. This whole sponsorship thing is supposed to be fucking working, damnit. I don't have enough money in my accounts to pay for tuition and still buy supplies (let alone eat).

Not impressed. And I don't have time tomorrow to go to the Registrar's office and try and figure out what's going on.

Might try to go on hormones. And not tell my parents about it until after I've started. Lots of thoughts about this, but I'm too distracted by my outstanding tuition fees to really want to go into them right now. Anyway, if I'm making myself broke over school, I won't have enough money for hormones. Comforting thought, that.

They're playing RHPS at school on Friday. Trev and I are going to go. Man, I haven't been in years. Plus, it's free.

happyfish: (rose tint my world)
Long weekend. Looooong weekend. Sleepy.
RHPS Friday, with crappy FM-less preshow, but there were actually people there, which was surprising. Had fun. Looked like a mime when I put my street clothes over my costume. Then I got red under as well as over my eyes so apparently I looked like a mime on crack. At least I wasn't smurf Columbia this time. Random guy on the bus was walking out the door when he suddenly turned around, said 'sorry, I just have to do this' and touched Caro's boa. xD We were amused.
Went camping with Caro and her dad and brother Saturday night/Sunday morning. Drove up to Edmonton and it rained. I thought I forgot my jacket at home, but found it after I'd already gotten pretty wet setting up the tent. We went to West Ed to get sweaters and to have something to do other than sit in tents in the rain. They shouldn't be able to make malls that big. It's just insane. Especially since we walked through most of it. And it was freaking crowded, being the long weekend and raining and all. Still, there were cool things to take away from the mall-hate, like the fire-breathing dragon in the movie theatre. And the pirate ship.
Got back to the campsite in time to eat meat-smeared veggie burger and stare at the campfire for a while before heading to bed. Woke up at two because the air mattress leaked. In all it was an...interesting experience. I'm sure I'll laugh about it in a week or so.
I'm sure I had something else to add, but I can't think of anything right now. Oh, I have a job now. And dad thinks Mika sounds like a castrato.
happyfish: (Default)

It snowed the night before last. I love snow. It makes me feel so happy. Except it was kind of sleet at first, when I was walking home from work. So it was wet, and I was tired. Nonetheless, I twirled in the snow ala Edward Scissorhands.

Mmmm....Edward Scissorhands.

I love Johnny Depp. He is just so awesome. I can't believe it took me eighteen years to realize the wonderfulness that is Johnny Depp. Even though he's practically old enough to be my dad. Which...is kind of squicky...if you think about it. So I don't, and I'm not romantically interested anyway. More like fanatically obsessed. Slight difference. *cough*

But he's still so amazing. He's nice. He's modest. He's incredibly talented. And still sexy.Did I mention sexy? I mean, what other guy can wear eyeliner and still look completely awesome?

*coughs again*

I saw Rocky Horror the other night. I went with my friends to a midnight show dressed like a pirate. I wasn't the only random non-rocky character there, though. I did see some Trekkies. Anyway, the movie was great. Or just the general atmosphere and the fact that you could throw toast and toilet paper and no one would think you've cracked. I still have rice in my pockets. Lots of guys in drag, too. I like guys in drag. It's kind of amusing, actually.

I mentioned America's Next Top Model in my title, so I guess I'm going to have to talk about it. I like Kim. I hope she wins. Yay for queer people! And she's sexy, too. The episode I just watched was a filler episode, though. It was kind of disappointing, I ran to catch the bus in order to watch a stupid filler episode. My liking of this show has just gotten sadder.

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