happyfish

The Vancouver trip was awesome. I needed to get out of the city so badly it was almost ridiculous. And, you know, road trips are always fun. I got to see all the cool people who up and moved to Vancouver in the past year, as well as spending huge amounts of time with Kait and Clare. Which sort of resulted in really bad jokes continuously, because we're like that.
And I got to see the best rainbow ever. A perfect double-arch. The sort of thing I knew was possible but figured never actually happened. Kait was so excited I thought she was going to drive into a tree. Fortunately, she didn't.
The Homo Hop was last Friday, and it was the first event that I'd ever organized. Not sure if I truly want to organize another event, even though it went amazingly well. Everything went smoothly, we got quite a few youth out and they all seemed to be enjoying themselves. The sound equipment worked (although apparently the set-up guy was an idiot), we had enough volunteers, and it was totally wonderful. All because we had the almost the best group of organizers ever, and because the drama-inciters no longer come to events.
It was so exhausting.
It seems like all the exciting events are over for the summer, though that's really not true. It's just kind of mind-numbingly boring to be unemployed all the time. I'm continuously applying at places. It doesn't seem to matter; no-one is calling me back. Having no money is lame. There are a bunch of projects I could be working on, like my online comic that I only sporadically update. I just have no motivation to do anything. Well, I taught myself 'Mad World' on the piano in a day, but other than that...I've been pretty useless.
I sent an email to my parents when I was in Vancouver to finally tell them that I'd started T. Their response was pretty much: 'Why didn't you tell us earlier?' I got to talk to them briefly on Sunday, and they didn't mention it, but they weren't upset either. It was the best response I could have possibly hoped for, really.
And my hair is blue.

Rocky Horror was fun. For the first time, ever, I didn't go in costume, or bring any sort of props. My stomach's been bugging me again, although it's not bad right now, and I was feeling lazy and irritable right before I left, so I just shoved my knitting and binder in my backpack and went of to Trevor's. I don't think I can handle being in a corset anymore, at least, not one that emphasizes the fact that I have tits. I might try to figure out how to make a man-corset by March, one I can bind in. (Trevor was relieved that he didn't have to see me running around in my underwear all night. I admit, it would have been amusing just to see his reaction to my outfit, if I'd have been able to force myself into it). Also, I've lost my garters, which is rather annoying.

Lazed around for most of yesterday, watching Star Wars (Episode IV) at the Tranny Shack. Man, I haven't seen that movie in ages. Sara suggested that a group of us go as over-sized Jawas to the Comicon in April, which would be pretty wicked, and not that hard to do. Then I went home, ate actual food, and went out to buy groceries from T&T.

Got a message from Trevor today. He's back in the hospital. He was feeling pretty shitty yesterday, and said he might go to the Foothills to see if they could do anything. I'm a little less worried than last time, but I had no idea what was going on, what was wrong, or when he'd see a doctor. At least now I know he's in a bed, and should be on some pain meds. And if he isn't, I'm going to go kick some hospital staff ass, because they shouldn't fucking leave my boy in pain. *growl*

Show on Thursday. I'm excited and somewhat dreading it. It should be good, though.

It's been two years since I started questioning my gender. Two years. It seems longer, somehow. I'm a lot more comfortable in my skin than I was then, but it's taken pretty much all of those two years to get me there. I've finally come to the conclusion that I'm really, really not actually that fine not passing as male. I was afraid that, since my gender identity is pretty fluid, maybe I would regret transitioning because what if I looked male but started feeling less than male? Could I deal with that?

Apparently, the answer was yes. Everything that I am or was afraid of about transitioning doesn't seem as important now. I know most of it is just the little voice in the back of my head telling me that I'll never be masculine enough to pass as male. Since I already can pass as male a lot of the time, I know that's a lie.

I think it's kind of funny that I'm off to go dye my hair pink now.

Also, do I really have to be hungry all the time? Seriously, what's going to happen when I start T? I'm never going to stop eating.