happyfish

Holy crap, haven't updated this in ever.

I still think it's somewhat amusing that my first thought upon hearing that my niece was born with a bunch of red hair was 'Red will be pleased.' I've seen her once since she was born and she is so cute! I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that my brother has a kid, although I'm sure he'll be a brilliant dad.

My parents came back for a couple weeks to see the baby, even though she was late, and left again last Friday. I've never had them around in the middle of the semester, and it was weird. Difficult to get everything done for midterms when I'm suddenly rearranging my life around other people. Not that it was all bad. They gave me rides home from work, and once I got sick started bringing me tea trays and such. And they were pretty good about understanding that I don't like worship music and therefore not playing it around me. Course, maybe they just find that having me glowering in a corner is really non-conducive to worshiping, but you know. It works.

I've been pretty stressed out, recently. I used to have a list in my head off all the things that I was worried about, but I can't remember it anymore. Which is probably a good thing. Having the parents gone again helps a lot. And getting all of that extra sleep after falling sick also helped. Still sort of worried about Trevor, though, 'cause we were supposed to have a talk about all the shit that's going down in his life. But there hasn't been time.

Had my birthday party on Saturday. Actually, it was the weekend of birthday parties. Sherina's birthday was on Friday. Trev flew her mom in secretly on Thursday night, which was kind of the best thing ever. A group of us went to Denny's after the show, and kept Sherina facing away from the door and completely in the dark about what we were planning. I think we almost had her half-convinced that we were actually planning an orgy. She jumped so much when her mom snuck up behind her. It was great! Then I think she started crying, and Christine got it all on video, because we're sensitive friends like that.

Anyway, so Sherina had her party on Friday. We went bowling, which was awesome. Even though I had to wear women's shoes in a size five, which was sort of awful. Stupid small feet. But I didn't suck as badly as I thought I would, and actually beat Sherina's score on the second game. *gloats* Then we went back to Lyn's house to play pictionary and not get drunk.

Since Alice in Wonderland came out that weekend, obviously we had to go for my party, and obviously we had to go in costume. I didn't actually expect almost everyone to show up in costume, and awesome costumes at that. There were a lot of bemused people at the theatre, who snuck pictures when they thought we weren't looking. I was the Cheshire Cat, because I could just sort of throw it together out of stuff I had, grin really big and scare small children. Or Trevor. Same difference. Chawna and Justine dressed up as Tweedledee and Tweedledum, with corsets and spinny hats, and I think they were my favourites of the night. Especially when they found out they could make the propeller on the hats spin by running back and forth flailing their arms. XD

It was a good weekend. It's been hard trying to get back into the spin of things. Especially 'cause I had a fever off and on from Wednesday till yesterday. I missed two days of school, but think it's pretty much gone now. Just got a sore throat, which is annoying, but at least manageable.

Anyways, off to do productive things.

Winter holidays went way too quickly. It was like I'd never left the school at all. Still, I got lots of sleep in, and the down time was very much needed. It's nice to be back at school again. The parents are gone, and I've the freedom that only comes from no-one calling you constantly wondering if you'll be home for supper. :/ I must remember to relish it; they'll be back again soon enough.

Trev had his surgery last week. Actually, almost everything ended up happening on the sixth. Kait left, my parents left, it was the first official day of school, AND Trevor had his surgery. I think I went grocery shopping. Maybe. I'd said good-bye to Kait the day before, after spending most of the afternoon at the Blue Howse. It was weird to see all the artwork gone and her bedroom almost completely empty. Sad. Still, I managed to not cry, neither when we were actually saying good-bye, nor at work afterwards. So that was good. Saved my man-steriour and all. XD

I went over to Lyn's on Sunday, to talk about something she wants to work on, and to see Trevor for the first time since his operation. It was his chest surgery, so now he's pretty much done his transition. I am both really happy for him, and kind of jealous. It's a little scary, too, 'cause he says it's the most pain he's ever been in, and he's been in a LOT of pain before. Not looking forward to that part of my surgery, but it'll be so worth it in the end.

But, I digress. I hung out at Lyn's all day Sunday, pretty much. Got to see Trevor's chest once most of the people left (which looks fucking awesome!), and had some really good conversations with Lyn. Sherina drove both Trevor and me home that evening, 'cause we were both going up to Edmonton stupid early the next day. I baked a batch of cookies, which apparently makes me look like a mad scientist, and then went to bed sometime around midnight.

I woke up at five. It wasn't pretty. Hobbled around and got ready to go, and then Laura picked us up at around six. We made pretty good time: my appointment was at ten and we were there at nine-thirty. Though poor Trevor felt every single bump on the road. I was pretty nervous once we got to the waiting room. This was the day that I could get my referral in for chest surgery. I was pretty certain I'd get it, but still. This was big. It was alright once we got in there. He asked a lot of the same questions that he did before. Carol was there, er...she's and intern or something? Anyway, she'd never met me before, so she had a few questions, too. Then he asked me if I had any questions, and I said I wanted a referral for surgery.

He said sure. Which is just starting to sort of sink in. I got my referral! I am one step farther along! It's kind of crazy. XD

I booked my next appointment, and then we bummed around for a bit. Trev had to get his drain tubes out in the afternoon. Which he did, and I filmed part of, though the nurse was crabby and wouldn't let us film most of it. I called in to work, saying that there was no way I could make it to work on time, since it was three by then and I had to work at six. Then we drove home.

Not much has happened since then. Been doing lots of thinking. My internet is down; I'm using one of my neighbour's networks. Sh! Don't tell them. I called Telus today, but I can't get a new modem without the account number. And OF COURSE my parents threw out all of the old bills so I don't have it. So I'm ticked off, 'cause this connection sucks and I'd rather use ours. You know, IF IT WORKED.

Anyways, I should go off and do homework like a good student. Just thought I'd try and catch up a bit.

Gah! Busy. Tuesday was my Warneke appointment. Managed to get a ride up there with Laura, and the baby didn't cry as much as he could have. Eric went too, so he could book an appointment. I don't know who we're going to drag up next, we're sort of running out of Calgary transguys. xD Anyway, the appointment went well. It was sort of unexciting, really. Pretty much just me talking about my past and how I knew I was trans and stuff. Which I've done before, with that one psychiatrist I went to, and counsellors and stuff. I'm contemplating coming up with a song and dance about my gender history, just for interest's sake. And because it would be funny.
Wednesday  I ran errands like a madperson all morning, and then talked to my parents for a bit. Finally told them about going to Edmonton, and the possibility of surgery. There was about five seconds of complete silence when I told them, and I don't think they're really all that happy about it. They aren't saying anything though. Only comments about how they're glad I actually told them now instead of sending them an email six months from now.
Then Kait picked me up and we went to go see 9. Which was a completely awesome movie, btw. Some of the characters were so cute! I dunno. I've read a couple of lukewarm reviews about it, and Trev says the plot was 'unorganized' (whatever that means). I thought it was kind of brilliant.
Drag practice that night. We're getting ready for the Halloween show, which apparently involves a lot of twitching on the floors. And Thriller. We haven't even started learning Thriller yet. oh wells.
oh! And I made a fan page for Soul Patch. Because it's amusing.
Yesterday I went to another of Sarabeth's Jewellery classes, because I'd missed mine on Tuesday. I really don't want to get behind in this class, because I really don't know anything. Oh gods, the learning curve. Managed to actually get some work done on my samples, and learn a fair bit. I feel a lot better now than if I'd just stayed home. Better than about my drawing class, which I still haven't gone to. I got about half and hour of sleep Sunday night, so I skipped class. It might not have been the best idea, but I couldn't imagine trying to pull a fifteen-hour day off of no sleep. Without dying horribly.
Fibre today! And then work. oh work. James filled out a recommendation for me for Community Natural Foods. If I get the job, it's $11/hour, with 25% off of groceries. Which would be kick-ass. And plus I actually know a bit about natural foods and vegetarianism (etc) anyway, which is more than I can say about the products at Home Depot.

Been busy. Home Depot hired me last week, and I've been working almost every day since. It's been pretty good, the job isn't so hard. The coworkers seem pretty cool (in a crazy sort of way). I'm not used to being on my feet for eight hours anymore. The first couple eight-hour shifts I had, I was hobbling at the end of the day. Not cool. Still, it should get easier. And if they keep putting me on lot I might not have to work out so much. Which would be neat.
Other than that, not much has happened. My life is pretty much work and MYN stuff at this point. Soul Patch is working on more dance numbers for the Rocky Horror show on Sept. 6th. It's going to be pretty epic. I get to be felt up by four of the kings in leather. Which will probably become somewhat less embarrassing the more we practice.
I'm really excited for school to start again. Even though it means I'm going to be crazy busy, what with Pride and work and various other volunteer stuff that I have to do as well. Still, I've missed school, and art, and all of the crazy people that I pretty much can only see at school. Plus the tribe is sending my living/book money, and then I'll actually be able to buy things that I need. Like socks with no holes in them, and new underwear. It'll be exciting. xD
I've decided to try and go vegan as of September 1st. We'll see how it goes. I've been collecting recipes for months, because it's something I've wanted to do for a while, and I think I have the ability to do it in a not-stupid way now. Plus, a couple of Sundays ago I watched the movie Earthlings at Sarah's with Jen, Jess, and Taz. It was one of the most heartbreaking movies I've ever seen. I don't think I can continue to eat meat knowing what happens to the animals that it comes from, and honestly I've never really liked meat that much anyway. The only thing that prevented me from becoming vegan back when I was vegetarian before was because I liked cheese too much. I can't eat cheese anymore.
So yeah. We'll see how it goes. I haven't told my parents yet. I want to put off the lectures on nutrition and 'but how are  you going to get enough protein?' for as long as possible, thanks. And if I start in September, they won't be here, and then if I move out by next summer (when they are tentitavely coming back for good), then I won't have to live with them ever again. Which would be freaking amazing. I love them to bits, but I'd be so much happier if I didn't have to put up with them every day.
Guess that's it. Off to go eat lunch now. mmm...lunch.

There's a world of difference between doing something because it needs to get done and doing something because you've been 'asked' to. I keep telling myself that it's an exercise in patience, that she's probably as annoyed with me as I am with her. But it only helps sometimes. Other times I just want to tell her to fuck off, I'm busy. She says that if I ever get a room-mate, I'll have to get used to having someone around and working around another person's life and schedule. But you know what? Any roommate I get won't interfere with my life. They're not going to go through my laundry, tell me to completely remove all of my stuff from a room where I like to work because 'they don't want to look at a mess,' tell me how and when to feed my cat, or expect me to make them supper. A roommate will fucking leave me alone, and if they can't, then I won't let them live with me. Period.
Dad's coming home this week. As much as I love him, I am somewhat less than excited. I miss my independence.

On the other hand, I am completely excited for Phil and Kristy's wedding today!

The Vancouver trip was awesome. I needed to get out of the city so badly it was almost ridiculous. And, you know, road trips are always fun. I got to see all the cool people who up and moved to Vancouver in the past year, as well as spending huge amounts of time with Kait and Clare. Which sort of resulted in really bad jokes continuously, because we're like that.
And I got to see the best rainbow ever. A perfect double-arch. The sort of thing I knew was possible but figured never actually happened. Kait was so excited I thought she was going to drive into a tree. Fortunately, she didn't.
The Homo Hop was last Friday, and it was the first event that I'd ever organized. Not sure if I truly want to organize another event, even though it went amazingly well. Everything went smoothly, we got quite a few youth out and they all seemed to be enjoying themselves. The sound equipment worked (although apparently the set-up guy was an idiot), we had enough volunteers, and it was totally wonderful. All because we had the almost the best group of organizers ever, and because the drama-inciters no longer come to events.
It was so exhausting.
It seems like all the exciting events are over for the summer, though that's really not true. It's just kind of mind-numbingly boring to be unemployed all the time. I'm continuously applying at places. It doesn't seem to matter; no-one is calling me back. Having no money is lame. There are a bunch of projects I could be working on, like my online comic that I only sporadically update. I just have no motivation to do anything. Well, I taught myself 'Mad World' on the piano in a day, but other than that...I've been pretty useless.
I sent an email to my parents when I was in Vancouver to finally tell them that I'd started T. Their response was pretty much: 'Why didn't you tell us earlier?' I got to talk to them briefly on Sunday, and they didn't mention it, but they weren't upset either. It was the best response I could have possibly hoped for, really.
And my hair is blue.

So my parents left about half an hour ago. Which would make me happy (maybe) except I'm still awake.

I want to dig my uterus out with a spork.

I had a dream where I was a dragonrider. It was really freaking cool.

My parents come home today. Trevor comes home tomorrow. It may be minus forty, but life seems pretty good right now.

I FINALLY have an idea for my final silk-screening project. Joys. One that I might actually like when I'm done, but we'll see. It's my final chance to prove (to myself, mostly) that I can actually register when I make the effort. So I need to make the effort.

Had a pretty relaxing day, today. I managed to get quite a few things done, although mostly not for school. Still, I'm mostly prepared for the pitch tomorrow for ACAD200. All I have to do is write the conclusion of the pitch (which is the part I'm doing) and then remember what I wrote. It shouldn't be hard. We've talked so much about this project and what our goals are and what the vision of our corporation is that I'm not really afraid of forgetting what I'm talking about. I'm just glad I'm not answering questions.

Then comes the paperwork. I don't even know when we'll have time to meet again this week, as a group. I have things I'm doing every night from Wednesday to Friday, and then it's the Show and Sale. I don't know if any of the group is going to want to meet then. We'll see. Thursday night I'm hanging out with Kait, which is super awesome exciting. xD Friday is Chrysalis, and bowling.

Three weeks till the end of term. I know what all my final projects are and what I need to do for them (in theory, at least). Four weeks until my parents come home. Mom keeps asking me if I want to invite friends over for Christmas dinner. I don't know how to explain to her that the last time I brought friends over for dinner, it was so awkward we had to go and get drunk afterwards. She didn't think it was awkward. She just thought I was being rude because I didn't want Trevor and Connor to see my high school pictures. Oh parents.

Had a yogurt today, and then my stomach started hurting. I've mostly written off feeling sick as anxiety. But...I dunno. Maybe it's something I'm eating. Worth thinking about anyway. At least, if it's something I'm eating, I can just STOP eating whatever it is. Anxiety I just have to wait out, and it's sucky.

I should get back to work. Just waiting for the water to boil so I can make tea.

Heh. been rather busy I suppose. Mom and Dad started cleaning all the carpets before the relatives got here for the wedding, and last week they decided to finish all the rooms they'd missed. Which meant a lot of moving around of furniture and such, seeing as you can't clean the carpet if there's something on it. Part of the way through this process, when I was vacuuming out my brother's old room, I decided that I wanted it. It's larger than mine, and the walls are a nice blue colour. I'm kind of tired of people saying I have the gayest room ever, just because the walls are purple and I have these sparkly high heels that I used for an art project way back when. The blue walls help a little. Very little. heh. oh well.
Work's keeping me busy as well. I'm working 35-37 hours a week, despite the fact that when I got the job they told me I'd only be working 25. I'm almost over probation, which doesn't really matter much anymore. I'm planning on handing in my two-weeks notice soon. I want a couple weeks off before school, to relax a bit and hang out with friends.
Last week they offered me a supervisor position in a different department. It was - weird. Flattering, I guess, in a way. I'm glad that my work is appreciated and all. I enjoy my job, I really do. I like the atmosphere now that some of the annoying people are gone and we have a good supervisor now. I like being good at something, even if that something wasn't that hard to begin with. And I definitely like having money in the bank. Especially now that it's not all going to disappear as soon as September rolls around. I think I might get a tattoo. Finally.
Not much else to say, really. Been visiting Trevor as much as I can. Man, I miss him. I miss our weekends of sitting around doing nothing and watching silly movies. Hopefully he'll be out soon, and can find a place to live that isn't filled with drama and Natalie (same thing, really). At the moment I'd still be more worried about him if he was back at his place then if he stays in the hospital for a little longer. That's just a little sad, you know?
Fake Mustache is coming up soon! Crap, there's only a month left of summer. Actually, that's pretty exciting. I can't wait for school.