happyfish

So the show last Thursday was awesome. There were lots of people there, and the numbers were wicked. So much fun! I decided not to go to Denny's afterward and go home instead.

Not much exciting is happening, really. I've been spending almost all of my free time doing schoolwork. Soul Patch isn't doing anything in the November show (because we need to do Thriller at Rocky Horror, which I'm probably not going to). Which means there aren't any drag practices to worry about. It's sort of good and yet the socializing was kind of nice too. Not being on the board is so liberating, though. No regrets there.

I went to go see Glenn yesterday for the first time in months. And it was really cool. I filled out a survey when I got there about what I wanted help with (ie housing, work, mental health stuff). And there's nothing, really. Even with being completely stressed out, I'm still managing to handle everything. A year ago I still wasn't doing that well, honestly, but now I'm fine.

Pretty cool, actually.

And I think transitioning has a lot to do with it. It's just this weight off of my mind:  I don't have to worry about whether I'll regret it or not, even though I think I always knew that it was something I wanted to do. I'm just so much happier now.

I lost my bus-pass today, which is annoying. Stupid bus-driver bitched at me for taking too long, too. Not a great start to the day. Meh. Hoping I can get a new student ID from school before the day's out. I really need to go run errands now.

Mom came back a week ago. It was pretty exciting. I mean, I haven't seen her since Christmas, and I knew she'd storm through the house and fill it full of food and such. It's also unexciting. I'm used to large amounts of time to myself, being able to be completely (or almost) self-sufficient. I can arrange the house in the way that best suits me, I can leave and not tell anyone where I'm going, I can feed the cat however much food that I think she needs. In short, I can be an independent adult, living in my own space. When Mom comes back, suddenly it's not my own space. I'd hesitate even to say that this is my home. It's just a house where I'm staying because I can't afford to stay anywhere else. And it's really annoying, sometimes. I know I can probably get used to living with someone else. I just need to be patient.
There are good things, though. She hasn't said anything about me being on T, hasn't told me she'd rather I stop or anything. She doesn't mind that my hair is blue. She's let me talk for half an hour about Misc Youth and what we're doing and why it's Important to have a youth organization specifically for queer youth. She's a lot better than she has been. Neither of us have really lost our tempers. There are just times when I'd love nothing more than to tell her to fuck off, I have important things to do.
I went over to Kait's last week to hang out and set things on fire. And I got to meet her coworker Dave, who is someone she never stops talking about. As it turns out, I know him from swing dancing, which was rather awkward. He walked in the door and the first thing he said was my old name. It was a little weird for the whole night, although he was pretty good about the whole name thing. He totally had no idea I was trans, although I daresay he knows now.
Drag show last night. We were competing with Stampede, and lost horribly. There were, at most, about eight people in the audience if you didn't include the kings. Still, we put on a good show for those who actually showed up, and I gave them free candy. I can't stand the Stampede. ugh. Can't wait till it's over.
Mom's gone to go rent a car. Excuse me, I must frolic in the wonderfulness that is my empty house.

This week has been pretty much a write-off. Stupid cold, making me so miserably ill. The only thing of note, really, was going over to watch Chocolat at Kait's, since neither of us really felt up to doing anything more ambitious. That movie is really cute. And would make me want to eat chocolate if I had any sort of appetite. Mmm...chocolate...

Oh, and I have the tickets for the Killers concert in April that my parents got me for my birthday. I am so excited, you guys! I think the last concert I went to was when I was sixteen, and it was a Christian youth conference that I didn't want to go to. So I was very angry and bitter. It's going to be the weekend of the Comic Book Expo, which is super exciting as well. I really need to start assembling my costume for that. At some point, when I feel like leaving the house.

Angels and Greasers is tomorrow! Money Pennies, 7 pm. There will be drag kings and nearly naked ladies! You know you want to go!

Aand...I'm going to have another nap now.

I think I'm finally starting to get stressed out about everything. March is the month of craziness (especially in terms of weather. Excuse me whilst I look out the windows and sigh.) I've got a bunch of major projects due, including the AHIS Paper of Dooom, and then a handful of extra drag shows that I'm not all entirely certain I want to perform in. I know I've promised Trev I'd perform at the Mount Royal Gender Bender, and I'd like to help out with all the fundraisers for Laramie. But I might end up helping out by showing up and giving my money instead of going crazy trying to figure out which numbers to do and then somehow find time to practice them.

I've still barely started the research for the Paper of Dooom.

My birthday party is this Saturday as well. Trying to get everything ready for that is interesting. The house is mostly clean, and I'm pretty sure I'm staying home to clean and research Friday night instead of doing other things. Cleaning might de-stress me. One can always hope.

I don't know. There's lots of stuff going on, just nothing I really feel like writing about.

I really need to get better at talking to people.

Crit for my paper project went well. I like working with paper, I should maybe do that more. If I have time, which is doubtful. Next project is the survival garment. Going to make a hoodie that zips up the front of the hood, so I can pretend to hide in public. It's amusing, because I'm quite sure that if I suddenly zipped my hood over my face in public, it would attract more attention, not less, but I'm going to work that into the piece. Oh irony. Might make it out of camo fabric, too. We'll see. I want to do something vaguely steampunk for the wunderkammen project. Steampunk makes me wish I knew how to work with metal, or at least knew sculpture techniques more. I'm still almost disappointed that my so-called sculpture 101 class never even tried to teach us the basics of sculpture, but whatever.

Show's on Thursday. You're all invited. By which I mean, come to the show, damnit. It's going to be good. Friday I have class, and then I'm going over to Laura's to learn how to be stand-in secretary for MYN. Red's birthday party on Saturday (must finish his present), and then the board meeting on Sunday.

Not even stressed, but I might make brownies today.  mmm...brownies.

I've started a list of goals I want to accomplish over the next five years, with things such as 'start hormones,' 'move out,' and 'get my own loom.' I'm actually really excited about this. I've never really thought ahead for more than a week or so, but I want to start getting things in order so I can accomplish things that go towards my practice, or save up for things that I want and actually get them. I think my life will be less haphazard if I have goals to continuously work towards, and, I mean, who doesn't like goals?

( Cut for TMI. No seriously. )

Still happy, though. Maybe I've been hit in the face with an invisible calming pie in my sleep for the past while. Now I want to read Girl Genius again...

So Thursday was crazy busy. I had silkscreening in the morning, with a critique I was late too. Stupid traffic. But class let out pretty much after that, and it was short, which gave me lots of time to head down to the AV suite and start taking pictures of my work for ACAD200. Red was there. It didn't take too long, and the guy was super nice and super helpful.
Then I went home and prepared for the show. Spent two hours putting contacts in and then practicing my makeup so that I'd know how to do it well and quickly. I've come to the conclusion that contact lenses are evil. Then I ran around like crazy trying to make sure I brought everything and had eaten something and just generally was prepared. And then I ran flailing for the bus...
It was the Hallowe'en show, hence the make-up. We kind of figured people would be in more of a Hallowe'en mood at the beginning of October than a week into November. It went amazingly well. I managed to organize getting all of the performances video-taped, so they'll be uploaded to Youtube sometime over the next month. (They're on several different cameras, and thus on several different computers). I was part of Thriller in both shows, and it was so much fun. xD
It was amusing to see when people clued in to the fact that I was doing a Roy impersonation during the second show. Taz didn't realize until just before I went on. Em didn't realize until AFTER I'd started performing. xD I'm still slightly jealous of Kait for having facial hair that's so easy to put on. Jeronimo's can be such a pain sometimes.
Friday I rested. Slept in. Did some cleaning and a load of laundry. Then Trevor called and invited me to stay with him at his new place over the weekend. Since I hadn't hung out with him really in over a week I said yes. We were going to go dancing Saturday night and to Calaway Park on Sunday anyway. So I went over and saw his new place, which is still in the midst of being renovated. There was no stove when I was there, and no running water in the basement. If you had to pee, you had to go upstairs and use the slightly sketchy bathroom there. But there were also two two-month old kittens there who are absolutely adorable. Unless you're trying to sleep.
We spent Friday night watching TV, and then headed out Saturday morning (after he tried to do some reading for his homework and I did a couple of sketches for mine). We went to Phil's restaurant for some breakfast, since we couldn't cook without a stove, and then off to A Little More Interesting because Trevor wanted to buy a strap-on.
(An aside: A Little More Interesting is one of the best sex-toy stores I've been in. It's nice, and open and they have natural light and friendly people. It isn't creepy, and Trevor can go there without dying because almost none of their stuff has latex in it. Win. If I ever have money and an excuse to buy a sex toy, that's where I'm going.)
Jen met us there. We wandered around for a bit, watched Trevor buy stuff, and then went back to his place.  We didn't really do anything. At all. I don't know how that day passed so quickly, because I never did so much of nothing for a very long time.
That night was Jen's going-away dance. It was at Twisted, and pretty fun. Until I got tired and it got really crowded. I went back to crash at the place Jen's staying because Trevor was sick and didn't go to Twisted at all.
I woke up this morning, ate cold pizza for breakfast, and then headed out to Calaway Park. It was a rather cool morning, really, but Trevor (whose idea this was) wanted to go on the log ride. A LOT. So we did. And got soaked and froze and generally had a pretty good time. I haven't gone on any sort of ride for a really long time. I'd forgotten how much fun they were. Next summer I'll have to go back some more.
I'm currently trying to finish some of the homework I've put off all weekend, with mixed sort of results. I feel rather distracted, and I'm also trying to upload the last of the Fake Mustache videos that were on my camera as well as do another load of laundry.
Really, though, I just kind of want to play Guitar Hero some more.

Pride rocked. Despite the rain, despite the drama, despite everyone's complete and utter lack of sleep. (I think we were all thankful for the Red Bull girls).

Also, I think I saw Mr. Marks there. He was my grade 8/9 math teacher. I always had my suspicions. Once I'd actually started thinking about those sorts of things, anyway.

I don't even want to think about what the next week is going to involve, plzkthnx. Tomorrow's my last day off until Sunday and I know I'm going to be dragged downtown at eight in the morning to set up the booth in the rain on Sunday. Just know it. Trev wants me to try to get my hair dyed Wednesday night, but I'd far rather be curled up in the fetal position on my bed with the cat purring somewhere close by at that time. And I have to get up at five-thirty every morning from Thursday till Saturday...

Oh coffee, how I love you...

The power keeps going out. It's really annoying. Saturday it was out for eight hours. Today, three, or something. I have a major paper due tomorrow. I'm really unimpressed. (I'm also pretty much done, but that still doesn't stop me from being unimpressed.)

Hung out with the kings on Sunday and made banners for Pride. It was fun, though there were only about two of us who weren't sick. I'm not about to get sick again, though. Must remember to take vitamins. Spent the whole day there, and discovered why I never watch the Junos. Sometimes I still find it strange that I'm friends with these people, like, close friends. I don't really know how it happened, but suddenly I'm like one of the guys. It's cool.

I need to hang out with my other friends more, though.

Got my Comic Expo tickets in the mail today. Whoo! Soooo freaking excited!!!

So my brother's friend managed to put together this new-ish computer for us to use, he's a total computer nerd in the best possible way. The kind of guy I always want to bribe with cookies whenever my computer starts doing stupid things if I could work up the courage to call him. So I got the new computer last night, with most of the files transferred. A chunk of them are gone, and I swear half of my music just randomly disappeared. And the rest of it seems to be having issues, which is retarded, because I just want to listen to music damnit! Plus I need to burn a CD for fake mustache and it'd really be easier if I had a working gorram file on my computer.
woe.
I haven't started practicing yet. *dies*
Still, I've managed to get most of my favourites and stuff. Just - a pain, mostly. A time-consuming pain in the arse. I hate computers.
There are three different things I want to do this Friday night, not including the fact that I need to have a sculpture done by Monday and it seems like it's going to be one of those time-consuming ones. Funny how I went from not having a social life at all to having too much to do in less than a week.
AHIS and FDTN today. ugh. Can't believe I got out of bed for those classes and not sculpture. Well, I had the paper due today and all. Which I typed up during lunch. Heh. I really need to get better at the whole not procrastinating thing. Also discovered that our next assignment is due on the Thursday evening class in March. The one I was planning on skipping to go to Fake Mustache. *sigh* I have such wonderful plans for that Fake Mustache, too! Well, it's not like I can give the teacher a good enough excuse to give me an extension or anything. Maybe I could hand it in early. *coughyeahrightcough*

Today on the train Emily and I talked about the logistics of tentacle sex while surrounded by the rush hour crowd. It was fabulous. And my hoodie had ears.

Guess that's it.

Cheers.