happyfish: (Pensive)
Thinking about Saudi. Man, I can't believe that some of the things that were so everyday there I've completely forgotten about. Abayas, veils, being afraid to show my ankles in public. That man in Bahrain who touched my shoulder. It's amazing how disgusted that one touch made me feel. I'd like to believe that if I got raped or molested I'd be able to fight, but I think I know I wouldn't be able to. How it was normal to go to a school so surrounded by security that it looked like a jail. The terrorist bombings. Atmosphere of fear and watchfulness. How we couldn't watch 'The Seige' because it was too true, a 'worst-case senario' movie that touched onto real-life feelings in a way that made me want to run away and cry.
So many things could have happened and didn't. We could have been caught going to church and thrown in jail. We could have been in a bombing/shooting. (Salwa got shot in the arm by terrorists. Remember? No wonder she was such a pessimist.)
The very water smelled different. I buried myself in schoolwork so I wouldn't have to realize how different everything was. But I remember walking past the soldiers on the way to band practice and wondering whether I should pretend to disappear or hold my head up high as they look me over like they're undressing me with their eyes. Never looking a man in the eyes in public. Never touching one. How could I? The very thought seems impossible even now. How could anyone here even begin to understand? Sometimes even when us Westerners got together the women would talk in the kitchen and the men in the living room. Sometimes our class would automatically separate; boys on one side, girls on the other.
Heat. Oh the heat. Dust, sandstorms. Slow internet. Being cold at ten degrees. The way the Kingdom Tower seemed to glow on cloudy days. Traffic. Taxis. Shopping. Watermelon. Heat. Dust. Riyals. Souqs. Big sale. Special discount, just for you.
Some of it I miss, strangely enough. Sometimes it seems like a dream. A dream of a place so alien from Canada that I don't bother trying to explain it. They think differently than we do. Which is better? I don't know. There's problems either way. Both cultures tend to view women as objects; it's just expressed in the opposite ways. At least here I'm not afraid of walking to the corner store by myself. At least here I can wear shorts and not feel naked and not have other people think I'm naked. We don't know how good we have it.
I wish I could answer his entry. Thank him for telling the truth. But I can't find the words.
happyfish: (Default)
So, apparently last weekend my parents told Ben that they're staying in Saudi for another year. Huh. And Ben's off to Hillsong to become some youth minister or something like that. I don't know what he wants to do with his life. But he's leaving in January, so that means I'm here with the house for at least six months by myself. He'll probably sell me the place. A home-owner. At nineteen. Sheesh. Thing is, when Mom and Dad talked to me on Saturday, they didn't say a thing about whether they were coming back or no. Don't you think that should be important enough to mention? Not that I don't trust my brother or anything, I just wish they could have said. They just talked about finances and the weather and other things that we usually talk about.
I finally have my learner's license now. I only could have got it since I turned fourteen. >.< I didn't really think it was worth it, though, seeing as I was leaving the country and women can't drive in the good ol' Kingdom of S.A. And plus I was lazy. :P But I have it now, and Ben bought me a cinnamon bun in celebration. I actually ate a lot of cinnamon buns this weekend.
I also finally got some new work shoes, so I can now go to work without the ever-so-handy ventilation in my shoes. XD I actually got the same exact pair that I had before. Couldn't think of a good reason to change them. And some impractical strappy two-inch monstrosities that I'll never be able to walk in. Heh. I just had the incredible urge to buy impractical shoes. I blame America's Next Top Model. Ben just shook his head when I showed up in the bookstore with two boxes of shoes instead of one, especially once I did the half-guilty smile and said: 'They were on sale.' But I mean, $15 for a pair of nice shoes. How can you resist?
I want to make shoe-related icons now.
I went over to Caro's around suppertime on Saturday. We were supposedly going to go to swing dancing, but we felt lazy, and couldn't get a ride there. So we decided to finish watching 'Army of Darkness,' which is a really old B-rated horror-ish movie, with an undead army done in shaky claymation and a fountain of blood. After that was over, they played this movie called 'Top of the Food Chain.' Interesting, ne? We thought we'd see if it was any good, and if not, we'd watch the Labyrinth again.
It was bloody amazing! I don't know how to describe it in ways that won't make it sound completely horrible, but they mixed it all together to make a completely brilliant movie. With wonderful lines like: 'that lumpy bumpy hilly part of town outside of town.' And man-eating aliens, incest, polygamy, fish, bondage, homosexuality and Jesus saving the world through the wonders of cool fusion, which somehow involved shoving a metal crucifix into a sattelite box. It was made in Canada. Somehow, that didn't really surprise me. XD
Stayed in bed until noon today. :P Darn that daylight savings.
Then Ben and I went to go see Ice Age 2 today, with our future room-mate named Chris and his fiancee named Brenda. Good movie, but there are far to many CG movies with cute animals coming out. It's starting to get kind of tiring. I do kind of want to see Over the Hedge, though. Maybe when it comes out on video.
Oh, and I randomly discovered a while ago that Thalie has white feet. o.x I don't know if it's a temporary thing or what. It's better than her randomly being gold with angel wings or something. ^_~

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happyfish

June 2010

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