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I just finished reading Mik's blog. Funny how every time I read it, it makes me want to update my own. I don't even know her anymore, really. I don't know Tessa either. It could be my fault for not emailing them enough, but they have fingers don't they? I kind of wonder if it's worth trying to salvage old friendships, or if I should go back and hide under my rock with my now-kinkajou dæmon. Very little is known about them, they sleep in trees and come out only at night.
It's ten-thirty, but it might as well be one.
My mouth tastes funny.
I'm sure you all wanted to know that.
It's weird, you know. It's not like I meant for her to change. I wasn't even uncomfortable with the white-tailed jackrabbit form. It's just that suddenly she wasn't anymore and I couldn't make her return. I couldn't see her as a white jack a bit before she changed, but that's normal; I can barely see her now.
Maybe she won't ever completely settle.
Maybe she's not actually my dæmon and I'm just doing this all completely wrong. Though I don't know if there's a 'wrong' way to do it.
I just almost feel like I've failed somehow, you know? Like somehow I've been a complete idiot and couldn't tell the difference between a kinkajou and a rabbit. But that's stupid, because she was a hare, and she couldn't be anything else for long. Now...I don't know. Maybe I'm making this a bigger issue than it should be. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and she'll be a hare. Or something completely different.
I just wish I could be as sure as some people seem to be. I'm a jackrabbit person, but my dæmon isn't a jackrabbit. Go figure.
I'm going to bed. I need a bath anyway.
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happyfish

June 2010

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