happyfish

Just to be confusing, I've changed the name of my livejournal. Well, actually, it's to get rid of the stupid _87 at the end of my old username, and because I had some money kicking around my Paypal.

So it's still me. Jasper, or Tori, depending on where you know me from.

My computer is stupid and freezes all the time. Mom doesn't understand me, which sounds all emo teenager-ish, but is actually true. I don't know where I fit in this puzzle-piece world anymore. Labels are stupid. I'm sort of envious of Mom to have the world figured out in neat boxes, but how lame, how boring, how unrealistic. Today I went to the registry to sign my name change form. Soon I'll be Jasper Dion instead of what I was before. Not that I know what that was. Personalities are just a bunch of words floating around an indescribable abstract of 'this is who I am' except I've lost that, somewhere along this process of finding myself. All I know is I miss singing and that I like drag. Maybe they'll be clues that will solve the mystery. I don't want to be who I was, but I hate the awkward and the in-between. I hate the descrepancy between my name and my presentation and why the hell do employers need to know M or F anyway? I need a job. Soon I'll be paying for my own schooling and that scares me. I want to move out but know I can't.