(no subject)
Jan. 14th, 2008 09:46 amI had one of those dreams last night, the kind where you keep trying to do something but never quite manage it. I was trying to get home, but kept missing my stop for some reason, or getting on the wrong bus, or generally just circling useless bus routes in complete and utter frustration.
I hate those dreams. They just sort of throw the fact that I hate failure into my face. And yes, while I know that I'm not supposed to be perfect, that to try is setting myself up for failure because no one can be perfect. It doesn't matter. No matter what I do, if I feel like I've failed in some way, or disappointed someone, I'm going to get upset. And then I'll start twisting words until everyone's saying that nothing I do is ever good enough even if they're not saying that at all.
ugh.
I need to go to class.
I hate those dreams. They just sort of throw the fact that I hate failure into my face. And yes, while I know that I'm not supposed to be perfect, that to try is setting myself up for failure because no one can be perfect. It doesn't matter. No matter what I do, if I feel like I've failed in some way, or disappointed someone, I'm going to get upset. And then I'll start twisting words until everyone's saying that nothing I do is ever good enough even if they're not saying that at all.
ugh.
I need to go to class.