happyfish: (More Sex than Me)
This is the second  Valentine's Day where I've been single. Which I don't actually find that interesting. You know what's interesting? I've had this journal for four years. I've been talking to Thal for almost four years, which I find to be almost mind-boggling, even though I knew when I started that it wasn't exactly going to be something I was just going to stop doing. Went to TDF yesterday to poke about. Can't remember my password, or even the email address I set the account up under. Don't know if I want to do anything about that yet. Still want to get a kinkajou tattoo. I don't even know if that's our settled form at all, if it's really what represents us best. It's just what she is. Which works for us, so whatever.

Went swing dancing last night. Glee! I went with Sasha and Trevor, who is out of the hospital again. Hurrah! It was fun, although I almost got a blister from dancing way too much, and my legs were so sore this morning I could barely walk. I need to go check out the registration for beginner lindy lessons that start next week. Must learn how to lead, darnit.

The guy-with-the-suspenders-whose-real-name-is-Eric (hereafter to be referred to as 'Suspenders-Eric) is kind of cute. And has an accent that might be Australian. Which is also cute.

I freaking love blues dancing. xD

I went to go get bloodwork done this morning. It went well, and I was done before my transfer expired. (The security guy who does the new student IDs was sick yesterday, so I can't get one until Tuesday. Oh well). Felt kind of tired, so I slept all morning. The lady who did it was super nice and friendly. I love being able to eat again. And drink coffee. Oh, coffee.

Going to bum around the house for the rest of today. Do some cleaning. Eat some chocolate. My plans for the evening are to cuddle up with the cat and watch 'Priscilla: Queen of the Desert.'
happyfish: (Cherry blossom)
So, uh, it was our cieday yesterday. Go figure. Either that or it's tomorrow. I can't remember. Apparently I celebrated last year on the seventeenth, though in my head I thought I met Thal on the nineteenth. Uh. You know, I can't remember if I didn't talk to Thal this much back when I actually went on TDF, or if this is just a recent phenomenon. Because we talk, yes, and half the time I don't notice or separate her voice from mine, and 90% of the time she's not projected. Wei just...are. And together. But there's nothing deep and meaningful anymore, though she still gives me comfort and bites my ear when I need courage. Nothing I'd want to go on TDF for and talk about. I feel sort of bad for deserting, but I also don't want to go back to say good-bye. I might, eventually, go back and become a member of the community again. See if anyone remembers me. Screw around with people's heads over pronouns, because that is what I do now, apparently.
Talked to three people about the name/pronoun change. It's surprisingly easy. Or maybe I just have awesome friends. :)
happyfish: (Hythalia)

So Steve had a temper tantrum at work on Monday. I used to have some respect for him, but that sort of went out the window seeing a thirty-something man act like he's five. Honestly. He's just starting to get repetitive. 'I hate this place. I hate this place.' He won't leave because he wants to screw my boss over, but will probably end up just screwing the rest of us over, us who've done nothing to deserve it. Hopefully I'll be gone by then. Or I'll talk him out of it or just warn Evert that Steve's planning to do a no-show for about a week before flipping him the bird and saying 'I quit, you bastard.' I doubt Evert will be very much surprised. The thing is, if Steve finds out I've told Evert then our friendship is basically out the window. Must talk to him first. See if he's open to reason.
Wow, this actually sounds like I'm not some manipulative person half-planning to sell my friend's secrets. Which is what I thought it sounded like earlier today. But I really don't want some of the girls there to be put through crap just because Steve's immature. They're better than that.
I had this cool dream a Monday night. It sort of reminds me of this song by Holly McNarland that I really like, even though I don't quite know if the lyrics fit. The words are really emo, but the music is great.


Today's the day I say Thal's officially a kinkajou. Not that she's settled as such, but that's what she is and what wei feel most comfortable with. In about a month or so, if nothing has changed, I'll probably put up an announcement on TDF.  *adds 'write kinkajou analysis' to to-do list* This actually makes me feel a lot better. I didn't like being unsettled.
happyfish: (Default)
I just finished reading Mik's blog. Funny how every time I read it, it makes me want to update my own. I don't even know her anymore, really. I don't know Tessa either. It could be my fault for not emailing them enough, but they have fingers don't they? I kind of wonder if it's worth trying to salvage old friendships, or if I should go back and hide under my rock with my now-kinkajou dæmon. Very little is known about them, they sleep in trees and come out only at night.
It's ten-thirty, but it might as well be one.
My mouth tastes funny.
I'm sure you all wanted to know that.
It's weird, you know. It's not like I meant for her to change. I wasn't even uncomfortable with the white-tailed jackrabbit form. It's just that suddenly she wasn't anymore and I couldn't make her return. I couldn't see her as a white jack a bit before she changed, but that's normal; I can barely see her now.
Maybe she won't ever completely settle.
Maybe she's not actually my dæmon and I'm just doing this all completely wrong. Though I don't know if there's a 'wrong' way to do it.
I just almost feel like I've failed somehow, you know? Like somehow I've been a complete idiot and couldn't tell the difference between a kinkajou and a rabbit. But that's stupid, because she was a hare, and she couldn't be anything else for long. Now...I don't know. Maybe I'm making this a bigger issue than it should be. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and she'll be a hare. Or something completely different.
I just wish I could be as sure as some people seem to be. I'm a jackrabbit person, but my dæmon isn't a jackrabbit. Go figure.
I'm going to bed. I need a bath anyway.
happyfish: (Swing)
One hour until it's the seventeenth. Last year on the seventeenth I found Thalie. I just can't seem to get my mind around that - I've known her for a year! It's crazy, that is. It doesn't seem like I've been talking to her for that long. I've also been graduated for over a year. O.o And have done very little with my life. Besides make money, which doesn't really count for me, even if it is really useful.
Oh! I got my cheque in the mail today! Nice. It was from when I went to the dentist in January, but didn't have my dental plan number. Now they've given me what was covered. Eee! Speaking of teeth, four of mine are going to be removed in August. -_- Wisdom teeth. Joy. At least that's covered in my plan as well, except for the anesthetic. There's no way in Hades that I want to be awake when they're yanking out my wisdom teeth. No way.
On the way to and from the dentist's office for my consultation I saw a ton of gophers. They were sooo cute! And somewhat smaller than the ones here in the North side of town. One was eating a worm. Because everyone wanted to know that. I don't care, I'm telling y'all anyway. It was eating a worm, and the worm was all...dead, and stuff. *is hyper*
I now have an alethiometer on my computer. xD It's the awesomest thing ever. I've asked it a bunch of questions, not like I can really understand the answers. But then again I can never really understand the answers when I do regular types of divination. I get a feeling, but nothing as clear as: 'They're going to pretend to attack it, but not really. The army's too spread out.'
Yes, I am obsessive. Cookies to people on my f'list who know what I'm talking about. And Caro won't get it because she's never read The Golden Compass. At least, not as much as I have.
Swing tomorrow! Yes! Beware me and my fantabulous, blue, swing-dancing dæmon! Whooo!
I can't swing dance. And you should go to bed.
>.> Right. G'night all.
happyfish: (Default)
So, went to see Kinky Boots yesterday. xD It was such a fun movie! I happened to tell Mom what the movie was about. Let's just say she wasn't too impressed. She actually said she thought I was smarter than that. :P It's not like it was porn or anything. Though there were a lot of drool-inducing shoes and boots. It made me want to go out and buy sexy, impractical shoes. Fortunately, by the time it was over, none of the stores were open.
I also spent most of yesterday on the quest for my Hallowe'en costume: the Corpse Bride. After hours in transit, I finally came to the conclusion that I'll probably have to make the majority of it myself. The chances of me finding a wedding dress that both fits me and is what I'm looking for are slim to none. It's not like the dress looks that hard to make. The corset will probably be a pain in the ass, but I have time to figure it out.
Thal randomly became blue the other day. :/ It was weird. Strangely enough, I can visualize her a whole lot easier this way. I've always had a hard time seeing her colour, but now it's no trouble at all. She's a whole lot scrawnier than she was, too. *shrug* I don't know if it's a something that's going to stay or if it's just a phase like the tamarin was. I'm just going to wait and see what happens.
happyfish: (Vincent)
So last weekend I did basically nothing. I mean, I went swing dancing and read a lot and actually took the recycling, but I didn't do half of the practical stuff that I was supposed to. Swing dancing was awesome. There weren't a whole lot of people there, but the people who were there were actually good. New guy named Alec who does aerials. Also a bunch of guys dancing with guys, which is always good for giggles. Steve and Danny were blues dancing! ^__^
On the way home from Caro's on Sunday (I stayed for Easter dinner), I was listening to Lifehouse when Thalie started singing along. It was strange, because she never does that. She nuzzled my knees and sang along in her soft, little voice with her eyes half-closed. Affection, too. Maybe I should have asked what was wrong. Heh. Made me almost want to cry, though. Almost. Probably why she doesn't do it more often. It means more.
Reading the Golden Compass again, because I don't really like any of my library books that I havent' already read. It makes me wish dæmons were corperal. I think it would make life a whole lot more interesting.
Anyway, I ought to go practice my piano, or at least do some of my theory homework. I haven't practiced in almost a week. *sigh*
happyfish: (Default)
So, apparently last weekend my parents told Ben that they're staying in Saudi for another year. Huh. And Ben's off to Hillsong to become some youth minister or something like that. I don't know what he wants to do with his life. But he's leaving in January, so that means I'm here with the house for at least six months by myself. He'll probably sell me the place. A home-owner. At nineteen. Sheesh. Thing is, when Mom and Dad talked to me on Saturday, they didn't say a thing about whether they were coming back or no. Don't you think that should be important enough to mention? Not that I don't trust my brother or anything, I just wish they could have said. They just talked about finances and the weather and other things that we usually talk about.
I finally have my learner's license now. I only could have got it since I turned fourteen. >.< I didn't really think it was worth it, though, seeing as I was leaving the country and women can't drive in the good ol' Kingdom of S.A. And plus I was lazy. :P But I have it now, and Ben bought me a cinnamon bun in celebration. I actually ate a lot of cinnamon buns this weekend.
I also finally got some new work shoes, so I can now go to work without the ever-so-handy ventilation in my shoes. XD I actually got the same exact pair that I had before. Couldn't think of a good reason to change them. And some impractical strappy two-inch monstrosities that I'll never be able to walk in. Heh. I just had the incredible urge to buy impractical shoes. I blame America's Next Top Model. Ben just shook his head when I showed up in the bookstore with two boxes of shoes instead of one, especially once I did the half-guilty smile and said: 'They were on sale.' But I mean, $15 for a pair of nice shoes. How can you resist?
I want to make shoe-related icons now.
I went over to Caro's around suppertime on Saturday. We were supposedly going to go to swing dancing, but we felt lazy, and couldn't get a ride there. So we decided to finish watching 'Army of Darkness,' which is a really old B-rated horror-ish movie, with an undead army done in shaky claymation and a fountain of blood. After that was over, they played this movie called 'Top of the Food Chain.' Interesting, ne? We thought we'd see if it was any good, and if not, we'd watch the Labyrinth again.
It was bloody amazing! I don't know how to describe it in ways that won't make it sound completely horrible, but they mixed it all together to make a completely brilliant movie. With wonderful lines like: 'that lumpy bumpy hilly part of town outside of town.' And man-eating aliens, incest, polygamy, fish, bondage, homosexuality and Jesus saving the world through the wonders of cool fusion, which somehow involved shoving a metal crucifix into a sattelite box. It was made in Canada. Somehow, that didn't really surprise me. XD
Stayed in bed until noon today. :P Darn that daylight savings.
Then Ben and I went to go see Ice Age 2 today, with our future room-mate named Chris and his fiancee named Brenda. Good movie, but there are far to many CG movies with cute animals coming out. It's starting to get kind of tiring. I do kind of want to see Over the Hedge, though. Maybe when it comes out on video.
Oh, and I randomly discovered a while ago that Thalie has white feet. o.x I don't know if it's a temporary thing or what. It's better than her randomly being gold with angel wings or something. ^_~
happyfish: (Default)
I have a job. I guess that's a good thing. I've had it for four weeks, which shows how important this livejournal is to me. Yay for money and having something to do.
Grief is such a funny thing. I think I'm over Yoo Jin's death, and then BAM! A few well-chosen words and it's like I've been kicked in the gut. Angst, angst, grief, grief...I saw her ghost a coupla nights ago. After reading the 6th hp again. It was the descriptions of harry grieving that got me. She walked through the wall into the bathroom where I was standing and crying (and talking to Thalie, my dæmon). I told her to go away. I dunno, I just don't really feel like talking to a spirit. Thal's helping me get over it. I love her so much.
Nothing much is new. I don't know. Don't feel like writing anymore.
happyfish: (Default)
I feel better now, but that's because a long time has passed. I've left saudi arabia for good and am back in good ol' Canada (yay!). The last few days before we left were hectic, and I still can't believe I've graduated! I got my first phone-survey thing today tho'. Welcome to the world of telemarketers and stuff. The poor lady (who'd want a job like that?) had an accent that I couldn't understand very well, and that's saying a lot for me, seeing how many different accents I've heard since I left Canada almost three years ago.
I went to the big, empty field behind my house today. It's not directly behind my house, but it's close enough. It's so nice and green there, especially with all this rain we've been getting. There were puddles and stuff everywhere. I got my first two mosquito bites of the summer. I'm not exactly excited about that part of it. At least I'm counting firsts now though, instead of 'lasts.' I can only dream about lasts now, the last day of school, the last time I played my oboe.
Ok, stop already, tori, you're making yourself nostalgic! This will never do. It's summer vacation and I have lots of cool books to read!
Doing a lot of walking around, cuz I've only got four (two now) bus tickets that I 'borrowed' from Mom. I should go buy more, but I've only got a fifty and I don't want to break in on just bus tickets.
I NEED A JOB!
Fiddling with HTML, let's see if it works, shall we?
Nyah nyah, mom's playing christian music and it makes my brain want to melt. drown it! drown it!
on the plus side, I fould my dæmon the other day. yay! the funky key worked! I feel so special. (Thalie: you ARE special, tori...*significant pause*) shut up!
anyhoot...
meow!

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happyfish

June 2010

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