happyfish: (Vincent)
So I dropped my Printing on Fibre course for next semester, since I am teh Fail at any sort of printing, and now I'm taking Fibre and Mixed Media instead. We'll see how it goes. I can't believe school is starting in ten days! Bah.
In other news, I might be getting a laptop today. I thought my parents were going to help pay for it, but they bought me Rockband instead. No complaints. xD So I'm getting myself a late (and expensive) Christmas present. Whee! It's exciting.
Parents are leaving in a little less than a week. It'll be nice to have the house to myself again.

It's hard to type when your hands are sort of numb.
happyfish: (Hamlet's LJ entry)
It's 8:30. I'm drinking a huge mug of tea (caffeinated) because I think I've hit over-exhaustion and I'm in this strange place where I'm too tired to do anything, including sleep. And there are so many things I need to do. Thoughts like that make me wonder if I'm more stressed out than I'm letting myself believe.

Things are going pretty well, really. I'm managing to not procrastinate on any of my projects, I've got a plan for the next couple of weeks that involves me getting enough sleep and me-time whilst still managing to meet all of my deadlines. My Print instructor says I can leave early on Thursday, which means I don't have to worry about getting all of my Fake Mustache things to school.

I feel so un-stressed right now. Just really tired. Zombie-tired. Braaaiins...

I need to call my therapist and start seeing her again. It'd probably be a good idea for my transition. I've concluded after the summer that I really actually want to transition. I mean, chances are, I'd be comfortable with my body if it were just me and I didn't have to deal with other people ever. But I do. Stupid people.

Corrected Mackenzie (my Fibre instructor) when he used the wrong pronouns today. No big deal. He winked at me later. It was amusing. He's one of the few instructor's I've had that I can imagine being colleagues with after graduation.

I kind of want to get this t-shirt. I wish I'd seen it in time to get it before the election. Although I suppose wearing it while voting would be a really bad idea. Amusing, though.

Alright, I think the caffeine is starting to kick in. I'm off to go bleach my hair.


Jul. 10th, 2008 02:30 pm
happyfish: (Screaming Violet)
I got the funding for school. It's paid for. All of it. Plus living expenses.

Excuse me, I'm off to go do a happy dance now.
happyfish: (Vincent)
55 minutes until I'm off to my counseling appointment. I've been trying to do some research, but I was a dumbass and left everything to the last minute and now there are no books. I've got one book and an article (maybe) about something I'm not really that interested in. If I'm lucky I'll be able to find another and bs my way through 4 pages before next Tuesday. It shouldn't be that hard, should it? Apparently I'm good at b.s.ing; I got a 92% on my AHIS midterm without actually studying that hard. So at least if I bomb the paper, I shouldn't fail the course.
I'm such an optimist.
Yesterday I quit my job, because there was no way in hell I'd be able to finish all of my projects I have going on right now, and work, and sleep and feed myself and try to stay sane. It feels sort of weird being unemployed again. Glad I did it, though.
Getting somewhat nervous now.
Why is everyone going through so much shit? Like seriously, I don't get it. I wish I could take everyone's pain away and make it better, but I don't know how. And that's a crappy feeling. I hate feeling helpless.
Don't want to think about that. Kind of want to go home and sleep. Met the school counselor yesterday, and she seems very sweet. we'll see. I'm off anyway, to find something to do and maybe try to get my third source. Please, gods.


May. 8th, 2007 09:36 am
happyfish: (Yay)
Got my grades from this semster. Lowest was a B+ in Humanities. Got an A in Painting and an A- in Drawing and Fibre. yay!
And, uh, mood swings anyone?
happyfish: (rose tint my world)
Busy week, what with school and all. My painting teacher (professor?) didn't show up on Wednesday, and an hour after class supposedly started we got the message that he was, in fact, sick. So I got up at six for no real reason at all. Ended up doing some painting anyway because I knew the assignment and that way I didn't have to cart all of my crap back home. Just most of it.
Apparently I draw faster than almost anyone in my class (the girl beside me takes forever), which may or may not be a bad thing. Mark says that if you draw fast you have no 'connection' with the piece, which makes sense to me. I just can't slow down easily. If I slow down, no matter how varied the lines are, the picture dies anyway.
I can't win. I should go cover a lamp in plastic wrap and string.
happyfish: (Default)
Exams ended tuesday, with the paper two psych exam that was easy and only an hour long. Overall, the exams were good. The only one I really can't tell about is English, and that's cuz I can *never* tell how good I do on a written exam. If I think I did good, I do bad, and vice versa. So I don't think about it, say it went ok and then move on.
Somehting bad happened about a week ago. A friend of mine was in a car accident and died. I didn't really know her that well, I knew her sister better, but don't even know her that well either. Still, it's the closest thing I've been to death, and I'm very confused. Sometimes I feel sad, but other times I don't feel anything at all. I don't know how to feel. If she were closer, I'd feel worse and know that I should, but I only saw her at concerts. *sigh* she was only thirteen or fourteen years old. If i think about it too much, I feel like crap, like now. I hurt mostly for her sister though, and others that were closer to her than I. Anne from the band said that she knew her from when she was very little, and her eyes were filled with tears when she said it. I couldn't look at her. I haven't said anything to her sister (the one who's still alive) either. I just don't know what to say. I watch her. She seems to be doing alright, but her voice is filled with pain when she speaks, as though the tears were just beneath the surface.
They probably are.
This is mixed with the fact that I'm now counting my 'lasts' and the weeks until I leave. This is my last band concert, or my last DWTA, or something. I almost feel that I can't wait till I leave so that I can leave the death behind me. I know that it won't seem as real in Canada, away from everyone connected to her. Graduation is such a scarey thought. I still want to leave, though. Things have changed. I have changed a lot. I guess I've discovered what I believe about death, but sometimes I just remember the last time I saw her, and she was laughing over a bad performance, and can't believe she's gone.


May. 4th, 2005 01:55 pm
happyfish: (Default)
My math exam finished today. This morning actually. I had two math exams, because IB is sadistic, and i was finished paper 2 in time for morning break. i've spent the last four hours in the library. I am SOOO bored. I should have done something productive, but I didn't, and that's my fault. I wish that I put my friend's story on my floppy so I could have read that, and did my traditional 'notes' on it, but i didn't think there was going to be room on the floppy, and I forgot.
The only good thing about today is that this is my last math anything...forever. That's right. NO more math classes! No more calculus! (actually, I like calculus, it's probability that I can't stand). I'm not allowed to talk about my math exam in detail, but I'll be content with the fact that it went fairly well. My head felt like mush afterwards, and my fingers were half numb. That's what two hours of intensive concentrating does to you, and an ac unit turned on WAY too high. Now my head still feels like it's made of mush, and my eyes are all blurry from staring at a computer screen or printed words for hours on end. Maybe *this* is why I need glasses.


Apr. 27th, 2005 08:17 pm
happyfish: (Default)
Wowee! It's certainly been a loong time. Not that a whole lot has happened, unless you're majorly interested in what happens to me at school. I did an art show not so long ago. Actually, it opened last Sunday, with me and every one else in it working for HOURS last week. I was at school for ten hours one day, and that's just way too long. Anyway, the opening gala was last sunday, and it was pretty exciting. There was lots of food, and my art teacher's weird music. There were a lot more teachers there than students, and I was asked to explain my artwork three times, once by my English teacher, then by my band teacher, and then for Karam and one of the twins (I still can't tell them apart). It was about an hour and a half long, and there wasn't that much excitement in it, as not many of my friends came. My parents came, of course, but you can only hang out with them for so much.
The food was excellent, though.
Next week my exams start. Math on Tuesday and Wednesday, English on Thursday and Monday, and then Psychology a week later. Classes have gotten more and more pointless the closer we get to exams, with the exception of physics and IT, but that's because they're non-IB classes, and so they continue long past the exams. This, of course, means that I have to come to school everyday after exams are over to continue with these other courses, which totally sucks ass, but that's what I get for choosing to do them. Well, I didn't choose to take IT, but that's irrelevant.
Not much else has happened, though I've got DWTA tomorrow. Excitement. And my piano recital. I hope I don't mess up, cuz I'm probably going to be last.
Can't think of much else to say, except that my English teacher really likes me, and I'm not sure whether to be scared or not. She asked of one of my art pieces to hang in her office (she's also the IB coordinator) and she likes my essays, and says that she actually *looks forward* to reading them. How scary is that?
happyfish: (Default)
well well well, guess who's finally updating their livejournal? Not that much important stuff happened anyway, but it's a week till spring break, so why not? Actually, i was supposed to be in the desert with my 'rents today, but it took me forever to do my homework so I got to stay home. I got to miss Friday (church) service thingie today too, so it's all good. I'll probably be dying of boredom before they come back, but that's ok. I have free time! It's bloody amazing. I should be doing something. I've got an 11-page math project to re-type up because I lost my stupid floppy disk and I didn't save the updated version on my computer. I feel so stupid, and I do NOT want to do it. Ach. This is a record for losing floppies though, I think i've lost four this year now, and one died a while ago. I have nothing else to say. I could talk about the weather...let's see. Today it is sunny and warm. Yesterday it was sunny and warm. Tomorrow it will be sunny and warm....next week it will be sunnier and warmer...next year...ok, we get the point now.
happyfish: (Default)

But I'm not telling how old I'm turning.  *nyah nyah*  I'm at school now, and should be working, except that I got destracted.  Physics is over-rated anyway.  I don't know why I'm updating this.  Nothing much happened.  It's been raining more, and I'm slacking of and not doing my homework when I'm supposed to.  Mom says that me not getting as much homework is good (I used to spend hours and hours doing it every night.  Now I actually can slack off and not totally die gradewise).  But I still feel like I should be doing more work, and not procrastinate, cuz whenever I do I feel so useless and lazy. 

So I should go back to work.  Stupid physics homework.

happyfish: (Default)
Have you ever wondered why people say "cafeful!" AFTER you trip? I mean, once you've fallen flat on your face, it's a little late for people to be telling you to be careful. I'm sure it's really nice they care about you enough to give you a little advice after you've broken something (most notably, your pride), but can't we all see how completely useless it is? It's like saying "the kettle is boiling" when you really mean that the water INSIDE the kettle is boiling.
I haven't been writing much because nothing I really want to remember has happened. Mostly it's just school and stuff, and this really embarrassing episode where I blanked out on an essay quiz and ended up writing nothing at all. On a plus side, it's a super-long weekend for us. Three and a half days off! I highly doubt I'll do much productively, although I have written another couple of pages in my novel.
I think I don't love my best friend as much as I did before. It just seems sort of weird. I mean, when I was with her it was nothing special. I was really really happy, sure, but I didn't feel like I was oozing with love. I'd only feel like that when I was away from her. God, it's the prayer call and it sounds like the guy's a dying cat! Or is it a dying cat? I have no idea, but it just stopped. Anyway, about my friend...I don't feel that I love her as much anymore. It's sort of sad, really. But I have no idea what's going on with me. I met this marine at the American Embassy and I got all awkward around him. Do I have a crush on him? Or do I just think that I should because he's a marine and all marines are hot? Just when I think I've got my sexuality sorted out, something like this happens. It's so annoying.
Ok, I think that makes up for all the times I didn't write anything. And besides, I'm having typing issues today and I really think I should stop.
Stop already!
happyfish: (Default)
Yeah, so I haven't updated in a while....not much has really been happening. I mean, there's always school, school and more school. I discovered that I'm waaay to much of a perfectionist a while back. I also had a long weekend last weekend. I got Wednesday off and got to go to the library at the hospital! I only got out three books, but i was pressed for time. I was visiting Dad too. He showed us his new workshop that's being built for him (actually, it's already done) and then Mom and I changed out into scrubs and got shown around the OR. Dad introduced us to a bunch of his coworkers, mostly nurses. They all thought I was really beautiful...but it was interesting. I got to see the human liver and intestine while the human was still alive. They do operations now when they barely cut open the person, but just put these little tube things in you, with a camera so they can see what they're doing. It's all very high tech and spiffy, really. The liver didn't look to much different than that of a frog's, but I guess livers tend to look alike, as they all have the same function.
Other than that, I haven't done much. It's finally starting to cool down here, though. I no longer pay attention to the heat. It's still probably in the thirties...but being acclimatized isn't all that bad. It just will be when we go back to Canada for the winter break.
Found a new age book at the hospital library, rather surprising actually. This is such a Muslim country. I guess they probably don't care as much, or at least don't notice. Ramadan's coming up...ach. That just means Saudis honking their horns until three in the morning and me not getting a good night's sleep for a month. *sigh*
on the plus side, I do have a long weekend next week...
happyfish: (Default)
Well, let's see what new has happened shall we duckies? Alas the weekend is over! Now I have to go back to school for another bloody week! On the bright side, today went by very quickly. If the rest of the week goes by as fast, I have nothing to worry about. Except that test in IT tomorrow....
To be completely vain I've got a big red zit on my nose and it's driving me crazy. It's like the one that that chick talked about in Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging. That was a good book. It's all sore and stuff too. Continuing on this line I also have an ingrown toenail. My toenails were always screwed up as it was. This was just WAITING to happen.
THere was this stupid article about this lady who got arrested for bringing a weighted bookmark into an airport. It was considered a "concealed weapon." How stupider do american airport security people have to get? You could kill some one easier with a fucking pencil than with a stupid weighted bookmark! This world is going down the tubes...with a vengence...


Sep. 9th, 2004 08:25 pm
happyfish: (Default)
Hurrah! It's finally the weekend! Of course, it's already half over and tomorrow I have to go to church, but at least I got some relaxing time in today (between homework, of course!). I did a self-dedication this morning so now I am officially Wiccan. I mean, I've been Wiccan for three years, but now it's official. At least to me.
I'm going to go totally goth tomorrow for church. I did last week. I seem to do it after people have seen and labeled me, so now nobody cares. That's how I planned it for school. I'd be all normal, boring, studious and stuff at first, so that when I change no one will really stereotype me. Actually I don't think any one cares anyway. But it's way too hot to wear black all the time.
I didn't go out today. It was nice. I found this whole article thing about vegetarianism and it's totally cool. I'd be a vegetarian, but I don't feel like telling my 'rents just yet. Half the meals we eat are vegetarian anyway so it doesn't really matter.
happyfish: (Default)
Let's see. I guess I can start off concluding that I'm horrible at updating these kind of things. I've had this journal for about a week and this is my first entry. I had one before, but I've decided I want a livejournal that no one I know reads. And if they do, they don't know it's me so I can be completely (or, almost) truthful.
Today I went to school and it was bloody hot.
I'm currently residing in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, which isn't as completely bad as it sounds. Back home people are always worried about the terrorists and us getting bombed or shot or something like that. Shootouts between the police and the terrorists are pretty much normal here, but I've never been close enough to hear one, and I'm not worried. If I die, then I get to see if there's an afterlife or not.
Anyway, today...today was my easy day. Band was awesome. It always is. I can't hardly believe I was planning on dropping it. Art was good, too. We got to go through these art books to see what we want to do in the course. The class is so small that it's pretty much going to be an individually run class. Which totally kicks ass.
I think I'm developing a crush on this guy, which is weird for me. I thought I wasn't like that. Who knows. Maybe I just like him cuz he's all gothic and curteous and stuff. And that just warms my dark little romantic heart.


happyfish: (Default)

June 2010

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