happyfish: (Screaming Owen)
  • I'm so busy I should probably cry. Just for the de-stressing impact that it would have.
  • I have a table full of glittery tentacles behind me, which I will soon add rhinestone 'suckers' to. For school. And it will probably take me all night.
  • Cuttlefish casting = WIN. I made a tiny silver tree, and now I want to make MORE tiny silver trees so I can have a tiny silver tree forest. Because it will be awesome.
  • I might possibly get my hollow construction ring done by the end of term.
  • Trevor is coming to Calgary! And staying at my house! Which will hopefully be clean and full of food when he gets here. *crosses fingers*
  • Yeah, that's it. Oh wait -
  • I need to get laid. srsly.
happyfish: (Leaf on the Wind)
Oh. Em. Gee. Life has been so crazy! It was midterms this week, which I managed to survive. Barely. I couldn't finish my hollow construction for jewellery. Apparently I am made of fail, so much that Sarabeth (the instructor) wants to coach me outside of class on soldering. When we can find the time. Of course, the one thing that I successfully soldered was not a class piece. It was a Christmas present. Still, it's shiny.

Everything else is going pretty well. Or at least going. Still at Home Depot. Community never called me back, so I guess I'm staying at HD for now. I might transfer stores as soon as I'm no longer a temp; the one-hour commute to work is so not worth it.

Good things that have happened:
  • Thanksgiving. Went to Lyn and Bree's for food. Lots and lots and lots of food. Everyone loved the cookies I made, and we all stuffed ourselves silly. It was awesome.
  • My cold is gone. Hurrah!
  • I went to go see Where the Wild Things Are with Kait. We dressed up as Wild Things, which was amusing and cute. I need to post pictures. The movie was really good, too. Strange, though. Not what I expected, if I'd even known what to expect from a movie based on a ten-sentence (or something) book.
  • I have a bus-pass again. Hurrah!
  • I have new glasses!
All of that, plus I got over ten hours of sleep last night. And all I had to do today was work on my drawing project, which didn't take as long as I thought it would. So I had time to take a nap and do baking. Now I have bread and muffins of Awesome. (Double chocolate with orange-flavoured dried cranberries. Oh yes).

Halloween is in less than a week! And the dance! Eee!

whee!

Oct. 8th, 2009 12:02 pm
happyfish: (Fall)
So the show last Thursday was awesome. There were lots of people there, and the numbers were wicked. So much fun! I decided not to go to Denny's afterward and go home instead.

Not much exciting is happening, really. I've been spending almost all of my free time doing schoolwork. Soul Patch isn't doing anything in the November show (because we need to do Thriller at Rocky Horror, which I'm probably not going to). Which means there aren't any drag practices to worry about. It's sort of good and yet the socializing was kind of nice too. Not being on the board is so liberating, though. No regrets there.

I went to go see Glenn yesterday for the first time in months. And it was really cool. I filled out a survey when I got there about what I wanted help with (ie housing, work, mental health stuff). And there's nothing, really. Even with being completely stressed out, I'm still managing to handle everything. A year ago I still wasn't doing that well, honestly, but now I'm fine.

Pretty cool, actually.

And I think transitioning has a lot to do with it. It's just this weight off of my mind:  I don't have to worry about whether I'll regret it or not, even though I think I always knew that it was something I wanted to do. I'm just so much happier now.

I lost my bus-pass today, which is annoying. Stupid bus-driver bitched at me for taking too long, too. Not a great start to the day. Meh. Hoping I can get a new student ID from school before the day's out. I really need to go run errands now.

*sigh*

Sep. 24th, 2009 05:37 pm
happyfish: (Screaming Violet)
Just emailed Sarabeth to tell her there's probably no way that I'll be able to get my soldering samples done by next class. Which is true. I feel sort of relieved and yet guilty at the same time. It's just - I have to do 110 drawings by next Monday. 100 of those were due last Monday. If I go to school tonight to work on my jewellery stuff, I won't have time to finish the projects for a class I'm already behind in.

I don't know if there's really anything I can do. I'd go cry in a corner, but that doesn't seem productive.

In other, completely different news, apparently I'm seeing two people at once now. Who knew? It's kind of weird because a month ago I was single and then within two weeks suddenly I'm very, very not. Though, did it really have to happen in the middle of school/work-stress, and not in the middle of summer when i had nothing else to do? Not that I'm really complaining. I'm too happy. XD

Need to make supper. I'm super hungry.

bahahaha!

Sep. 21st, 2009 07:14 am
happyfish: (More Sex than Me)
This weekend = totally awesome. omg.

I'm going to my drawing class for the first time today. I had to skip last week because I'd only gotten about half an hour of sleep. I decided it wasn't worth trying to pull of a fifteen+ hour day whilst completely sleep deprived. I'm sort of nervous, actually. Hope my instructor doesn't take my head off or anything.

We started practicing Thriller yesterday. This is going to be crazy. And i will probably never want to hear the song again by the time Halloween comes around. But I'll be able to do Thriller and impress everybody.
happyfish: (Fall)
Gah! Busy. Tuesday was my Warneke appointment. Managed to get a ride up there with Laura, and the baby didn't cry as much as he could have. Eric went too, so he could book an appointment. I don't know who we're going to drag up next, we're sort of running out of Calgary transguys. xD Anyway, the appointment went well. It was sort of unexciting, really. Pretty much just me talking about my past and how I knew I was trans and stuff. Which I've done before, with that one psychiatrist I went to, and counsellors and stuff. I'm contemplating coming up with a song and dance about my gender history, just for interest's sake. And because it would be funny.
Wednesday  I ran errands like a madperson all morning, and then talked to my parents for a bit. Finally told them about going to Edmonton, and the possibility of surgery. There was about five seconds of complete silence when I told them, and I don't think they're really all that happy about it. They aren't saying anything though. Only comments about how they're glad I actually told them now instead of sending them an email six months from now.
Then Kait picked me up and we went to go see 9. Which was a completely awesome movie, btw. Some of the characters were so cute! I dunno. I've read a couple of lukewarm reviews about it, and Trev says the plot was 'unorganized' (whatever that means). I thought it was kind of brilliant.
Drag practice that night. We're getting ready for the Halloween show, which apparently involves a lot of twitching on the floors. And Thriller. We haven't even started learning Thriller yet. oh wells.
oh! And I made a fan page for Soul Patch. Because it's amusing.
Yesterday I went to another of Sarabeth's Jewellery classes, because I'd missed mine on Tuesday. I really don't want to get behind in this class, because I really don't know anything. Oh gods, the learning curve. Managed to actually get some work done on my samples, and learn a fair bit. I feel a lot better now than if I'd just stayed home. Better than about my drawing class, which I still haven't gone to. I got about half and hour of sleep Sunday night, so I skipped class. It might not have been the best idea, but I couldn't imagine trying to pull a fifteen-hour day off of no sleep. Without dying horribly.
Fibre today! And then work. oh work. James filled out a recommendation for me for Community Natural Foods. If I get the job, it's $11/hour, with 25% off of groceries. Which would be kick-ass. And plus I actually know a bit about natural foods and vegetarianism (etc) anyway, which is more than I can say about the products at Home Depot.

omg school

Sep. 5th, 2009 09:19 am
happyfish: (anyday)
So my parents are gone now. They left last Tuesday, which was a day filled with the normal amounts of chaos and panic that usually surround them whenever they leave the country again. I did manage to get used to them being here, but it took me less than a day to adjust to being on my own again. They're in Paris now, for their thirtieth wedding anniversary. I'm a little jealous, but not too much.
Tuesday night I went to go print out king cards and the new MYN pamphlets with James and Jen. It was nice to get away from all of the craziness at home. The king cards, which I made, look pretty freaking awesome. A little blurry, but not bad considering it's my first time doing something like this. MYN will also have stickers to sell at Pride that I made, so this summer's been really good for my CV. Hopefully James has received the stickers, otherwise I'll be kind of sad.
I didn't get home until almost midnight that night. Then I spent most of Wednesday cleaning and going grocery shopping. My parents left quite a mess when they left, but whatever. Freedom! I have to use bus tickets to get around, because my sponsor still hasn't gotten in touch with ACAD. I've sent them two emails now telling them that it'd be really nice to be able to get my locker and bus pass, no late fees, etc. No response. The last email I sent yesterday, so hopefully I get a response pretty soon. If I don't, I may just pay my tuition myself and make them pay me back. It would suck, but I'd rather do that then get a $70 late fee because my sponsor is being retarded.
Thursday was Fake Mustache. Kate Reid, a Canadian lesbian singer-songwriter, was our special guest. Trevor managed to get her to come and perform for us and all we had to do was pay her gas money. She is amazing. omg. So cute and funny, and totally had a wicked time at the show. We kept trying to drag her onstage, but she only relented for Trevor near the end of the night. We did a couple of Soul Patch numbers, so there was cheesy boy band numbers complete with fan and flying rose petals. In all, a wicked show. And apparently Kate Reid thinks I'm cute. xD
Yesterday was my first class of the term. Cloth Dyeing and Painting with Bill Morton. Lacy is in my class! glee. It looks like it's going to be pretty awesome, all around. I'm really excited. It's nice to be back at school finally. The summer was way too long and boring. The fall looks like it's going to be pretty busy (I've had to colour-code all of my calendars just to make things a little easier) but otherwise awesome.
Pride this weekend! Hurrah!

Good News!

Aug. 28th, 2009 03:29 pm
happyfish: (Yay)
So I went to Edmonton the day before yesterday with James and Sarah and Trevor and Sasha. I now have an appointment with Warneke in mid-September, which means I can actually start the process for getting approved for chest surgery.
Whoo!
Now all I have to do is find someone willing to drive me up there.

Also, my parents are gone for a couple of days because of my cousin's wedding. The quiet is nice.
happyfish: (Johnny Depp with a spoon on his nose)
Been busy. Home Depot hired me last week, and I've been working almost every day since. It's been pretty good, the job isn't so hard. The coworkers seem pretty cool (in a crazy sort of way). I'm not used to being on my feet for eight hours anymore. The first couple eight-hour shifts I had, I was hobbling at the end of the day. Not cool. Still, it should get easier. And if they keep putting me on lot I might not have to work out so much. Which would be neat.
Other than that, not much has happened. My life is pretty much work and MYN stuff at this point. Soul Patch is working on more dance numbers for the Rocky Horror show on Sept. 6th. It's going to be pretty epic. I get to be felt up by four of the kings in leather. Which will probably become somewhat less embarrassing the more we practice.
I'm really excited for school to start again. Even though it means I'm going to be crazy busy, what with Pride and work and various other volunteer stuff that I have to do as well. Still, I've missed school, and art, and all of the crazy people that I pretty much can only see at school. Plus the tribe is sending my living/book money, and then I'll actually be able to buy things that I need. Like socks with no holes in them, and new underwear. It'll be exciting. xD
I've decided to try and go vegan as of September 1st. We'll see how it goes. I've been collecting recipes for months, because it's something I've wanted to do for a while, and I think I have the ability to do it in a not-stupid way now. Plus, a couple of Sundays ago I watched the movie Earthlings at Sarah's with Jen, Jess, and Taz. It was one of the most heartbreaking movies I've ever seen. I don't think I can continue to eat meat knowing what happens to the animals that it comes from, and honestly I've never really liked meat that much anyway. The only thing that prevented me from becoming vegan back when I was vegetarian before was because I liked cheese too much. I can't eat cheese anymore.
So yeah. We'll see how it goes. I haven't told my parents yet. I want to put off the lectures on nutrition and 'but how are  you going to get enough protein?' for as long as possible, thanks. And if I start in September, they won't be here, and then if I move out by next summer (when they are tentitavely coming back for good), then I won't have to live with them ever again. Which would be freaking amazing. I love them to bits, but I'd be so much happier if I didn't have to put up with them every day.
Guess that's it. Off to go eat lunch now. mmm...lunch.

happyfish: (jack slash ianto)
I still find it rather amusing that less than a week before Dad came home, two of our appliances decided to stop working. Dad's managed to get the freezer to work again (although the bottom is now filled with bloody ice, which is rather disgusting). We got a new washer and dryer yesterday. I'm still not sure what I think about having a dryer that actually functions. I'm so used to it taking two to three hours for my clothes to dry.
I've had two interviews for Home Depot so far. They're going to call my references and call me back for a third interview if those go well. Huh. I'm kind of hopeful though. Even if it's a crazy process.
Oh, and I got into all of my classes! Hurrah! Didn't even have to go whining to the Registrar, which is nice. So I'm in drawing (media and techniques), the dyeing class, and jewelry. Shiny.
I've been keeping busy designing posters and stickers for MYN. We're having a Halloween dance on Oct 30, which is awesome. And apparently I inadvertently made Misc Youth a mascot for all of our youth events. His name is Gibble, and he's ridiculously cute. Speaking of MYN, a group of kings are doing group numbers for the show next Thursday. To the Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys. We've been practicing for a month and you should totally come check us out. Because it's going to be wicked. We performed at the Good Life Bike one year anniversary celebration on Friday and there was much screaming.
Anyway, it's not so bad having Dad here. More wrong pronouns, because Mom and Dad talk about me as well as to me, and that's a little weird. I'm not really used to people using female pronouns for me anymore. But it's kind of nice to have someone else around who can do all of the things that Mom needs to get done (but can somehow never do herself), and who doesn't take three hours to go grocery shopping. It's kind of strange, too, because Dad's also taking testosterone, only the gel. So we've been comparing notes on what it's like.
I've come to love Sunday mornings, though. Because they're so wonderfully quiet.
Also my brother has gotten into the habit of saying 'that's so gay' and I kind of want to smack him every time he does. Or say something along the lines of 'No, Ben. I am gay. That is a barbeque.'
Sasha's coming back to Calgary to perform at the show! xD I'm so excited.
Yeah, that's it I guess. Life is good.

happyfish: (Screaming Owen)
There's a world of difference between doing something because it needs to get done and doing something because you've been 'asked' to. I keep telling myself that it's an exercise in patience, that she's probably as annoyed with me as I am with her. But it only helps sometimes. Other times I just want to tell her to fuck off, I'm busy. She says that if I ever get a room-mate, I'll have to get used to having someone around and working around another person's life and schedule. But you know what? Any roommate I get won't interfere with my life. They're not going to go through my laundry, tell me to completely remove all of my stuff from a room where I like to work because 'they don't want to look at a mess,' tell me how and when to feed my cat, or expect me to make them supper. A roommate will fucking leave me alone, and if they can't, then I won't let them live with me. Period.
Dad's coming home this week. As much as I love him, I am somewhat less than excited. I miss my independence.

On the other hand, I am completely excited for Phil and Kristy's wedding today!

oh wait...

Jul. 23rd, 2009 11:48 am
happyfish: (Clever Ruse)
I registered for classes in the Winter semester, but not the fall one. Of course, now they're all full.

I feel rather stupid right now.

Home Depot actually called me back about my job application, so there's a chance that I will (amazingly enough) get an interview this summer. *crosses fingers*

updateness

Jul. 3rd, 2009 05:06 pm
happyfish: (Car)
Mom came back a week ago. It was pretty exciting. I mean, I haven't seen her since Christmas, and I knew she'd storm through the house and fill it full of food and such. It's also unexciting. I'm used to large amounts of time to myself, being able to be completely (or almost) self-sufficient. I can arrange the house in the way that best suits me, I can leave and not tell anyone where I'm going, I can feed the cat however much food that I think she needs. In short, I can be an independent adult, living in my own space. When Mom comes back, suddenly it's not my own space. I'd hesitate even to say that this is my home. It's just a house where I'm staying because I can't afford to stay anywhere else. And it's really annoying, sometimes. I know I can probably get used to living with someone else. I just need to be patient.
There are good things, though. She hasn't said anything about me being on T, hasn't told me she'd rather I stop or anything. She doesn't mind that my hair is blue. She's let me talk for half an hour about Misc Youth and what we're doing and why it's Important to have a youth organization specifically for queer youth. She's a lot better than she has been. Neither of us have really lost our tempers. There are just times when I'd love nothing more than to tell her to fuck off, I have important things to do.
I went over to Kait's last week to hang out and set things on fire. And I got to meet her coworker Dave, who is someone she never stops talking about. As it turns out, I know him from swing dancing, which was rather awkward. He walked in the door and the first thing he said was my old name. It was a little weird for the whole night, although he was pretty good about the whole name thing. He totally had no idea I was trans, although I daresay he knows now.
Drag show last night. We were competing with Stampede, and lost horribly. There were, at most, about eight people in the audience if you didn't include the kings. Still, we put on a good show for those who actually showed up, and I gave them free candy. I can't stand the Stampede. ugh. Can't wait till it's over.
Mom's gone to go rent a car. Excuse me, I must frolic in the wonderfulness that is my empty house.
happyfish: (i hug trees)

 

whee! )

 

happyfish: (rainbows)
The Vancouver trip was awesome. I needed to get out of the city so badly it was almost ridiculous. And, you know, road trips are always fun. I got to see all the cool people who up and moved to Vancouver in the past year, as well as spending huge amounts of time with Kait and Clare. Which sort of resulted in really bad jokes continuously, because we're like that.
And I got to see the best rainbow ever. A perfect double-arch. The sort of thing I knew was possible but figured never actually happened. Kait was so excited I thought she was going to drive into a tree. Fortunately, she didn't.
The Homo Hop was last Friday, and it was the first event that I'd ever organized. Not sure if I truly want to organize another event, even though it went amazingly well. Everything went smoothly, we got quite a few youth out and they all seemed to be enjoying themselves. The sound equipment worked (although apparently the set-up guy was an idiot), we had enough volunteers, and it was totally wonderful. All because we had the almost the best group of organizers ever, and because the drama-inciters no longer come to events.
It was so exhausting.
It seems like all the exciting events are over for the summer, though that's really not true. It's just kind of mind-numbingly boring to be unemployed all the time. I'm continuously applying at places. It doesn't seem to matter; no-one is calling me back. Having no money is lame. There are a bunch of projects I could be working on, like my online comic that I only sporadically update. I just have no motivation to do anything. Well, I taught myself 'Mad World' on the piano in a day, but other than that...I've been pretty useless.
I sent an email to my parents when I was in Vancouver to finally tell them that I'd started T. Their response was pretty much: 'Why didn't you tell us earlier?' I got to talk to them briefly on Sunday, and they didn't mention it, but they weren't upset either. It was the best response I could have possibly hoped for, really.
And my hair is blue.
happyfish: (Vincent)
the trees are frothed with flowers -
sweet-smelling soap bubbles
snowing down over half-greened lawns.
begin again the new life,
tender young leaves spiralling
and everything is new
but still the same spring story
told in a rush
of birdsong-sun-green joy.
if life were a story I would sing it to you
in wordless rhythms of cycles and wonder,
dancing barefoot with
the awakening trees.
Instead I walk on hardened
paths of regimented concrete logic,
under signs that say:
'no shoes, no service,'
beside the whoosh of cars driving by in a river of metal.

Hold my hand,
I'll take you away to where the dragons live.
happyfish: (Leaf on the Wind)
Life's been quiet recently. Hard for it not to be, really, what with me still being unemployed. I'm not sure if there's anything I can do about that. I know the job market is pretty dead, and that it takes forever sometimes for people to call you back for interviews and the like. Still, the lack of money and activity is making me a little anxious at at times. My original plan was to take August off just to relax, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to do that anymore. I've had plenty of relaxing. It would be nice to save up a little bit of money.
So I've been lazing around, being slothful. Reading lots of books, cuddling the cat, starting a handful of projects that I work on sporadically. It's weird, but I never feel as motivated in my art when I'm not in school. As soon as I have a ton of school projects that I absolutely need to get done, all I want to do is work on projects that have nothing to do with school. My brain, it is strange sometimes.
My parents keep making hints that I ought to apply again at Superstore. Which I'm sure I will, once I get back from Vancouver. I'm really excited about this trip. I haven't left the city in I don't know how long, and road trips are awesome. I'm pretty sure that they're even awesomer when they're with cool people who aren't my parents and who aren't going to play Christian music.
Leaving the city will probably help prevent me from panicking too much about the Homo Hop. Realize that this is the first event that I have ever organized, and even thought I'm organizing with the help of two wonderful people, sometimes I feel completely unprepared. I've started having dreams about it. Kind of lame, even if they aren't bad dreams.
Busy day today. I woke up at seven for the first time in weeks, which was sort of miraculous. Helped Red move a little bit until they started moving furniture and then ran off to Laura's for a Homo Hop planning meeting. And to make faces at Koda, who is ridiculously cute, ohgod, and likes to stare blankly at fauxhawks and chew on fingers. Fortunately not my fingers. Jen and I ended up both wearing plaid shorts, which was amusing. Then I ran home to relax for a bit before Kait picked me up and we went off to the parent's place for steaks.
Mmm...steaks...
I finally got to officially meet Clare in real life and not online today. She's super nice and the accent is cute. Kind of grateful that I like her, because otherwise the ride to Vancouver would be really interesting, and not in a good way. She and Kait ran off to go see Peaches, and I ended up spending most of the evening hanging out with Kait's parents, Shannon and Julian. Which involved watching the kitten get stuck in the tree twice, and lots of talking. I'm not sure if I've ever enjoyed hanging out with a friend's parents before. Even with Caro's mom, there was always a little bit of...distance. I always felt a little awkward.
I've been on T for about a month and a half now. I am ever so slightly hairier, and my appetite is insane. Makes me feel vaguely hobbit-ish. Apparently Grannie has figured out I'm trans (due, no doubt, to my facebook profile where I make no attempt to hide anything), and seems to be quite ok with it. Which is amazing, and relieving. My parents still don't know I'm on T. I really ought to tell them and soon.


happyfish: (rainbows)
Hey world?

You should go see the Laramie Project. It'll be awesome.

Cheers
happyfish: (i hug trees)
You Are Chamomile
You are a peaceful, relaxed person. Nothing really gets under your skin.
You appreciate coziness and comfort. There's nothing you like better than a good nap.

You don't let yourself stress or worry. You believe all things work out in the end.
You are able to remain serene in the middle of a storm. You believe it's important to be a gentle person.
happyfish: (Ghandi)
In brief:
  • Still unemployed.
  • Jen's party (parties) were brilliant, but tiring. I was sober the whole time.
  • Sam won't talk to me, or even stay in the same room as me. Going to keep trying. I'm just a few months away from a real...audible connection. *blinks*
  • I got to talk to Clare. She's kind of cute, and has an accent, but I still feel like I don't know her at all.
And a meme! Stolen from teh FaceCrack.

 

Memeness )

 



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